Five Things I Hate About You...Email Edition
By Lisa Bonatz
People must be out here believing that the G in G-mail stands for garbage.
During the times of COVID-19, email has become a primary form of workplace communication.
Perfect! As professional communicators and polished authors, there is no way our writing could be flawed, right? Wrong.
Over the past few months, I have learned digital pet peeves do exist, and that I have a few:
“Thanks in advance”: This phrase feels like a threat. When a sender thanks me “in advance” for doing something, I translate it as, “you better do this because I already said thank you.” I know the author probably does not have such manipulative intentions, but I think it is always better to wait until the task has been completed to express gratitude. Why do you need to get it out of the way now? If you do not think you will even remember to thank me for doing this task, I might not remember to do it at all.
“Regards”: When an email is closed with simply “regards”, I assume it was typed with the sender’s middle fingers. What does this sign off even mean? How do you regard me? Now I am going to spend the next 10 minutes wondering.
“I am emailing you to… ”: This phrase adds unnecessary bulk to your message and reminds me of every email I have ever received from a “foreign prince.” I know you are emailing me. I would be shocked if anything BUT an email popped up in my Gmail inbox. Getting directly to your point will make you sound more confident and less like a scammer.
“a.m. in the morning”: This redundancy gets the grammar geek in me upset, fired up …you see what I did there? ;) There is no a.m. at night or p.m. in the morning so just pick one option and stick with it!
“Pick your brain”: This phrase irritates me for three reasons. First, it creates a disturbing, vivid image of my brain being opened like the monkey from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (without the comforting presence of Harrison Ford). Gross. Secondly, it makes me feel like you are only interested in very specific details of what I have to say. If you want to tweeze out my expertise or thoughts on a very specific issue, that is called consulting. For most people, I am not offering that service pro-bono. Lastly, the phrase offers little potential for mutual benefit. Both sides gain insight from conversing. If you “pick my brain,” it seems like I only stand to lose.
As a generally laid-back, yoga enthusiast, I assume that if these phrases bother me enough to inspire an article, they must also frustrate others. However, feel free to ignore my preferences ... just know that if you do it when emailing me, you will be taking the “courtesy” out of cc. ;)
-Lisa Bonatz
Lisa is a public relations and clinical nutrition student with a passion for running both campaigns and marathons ;). Her diverse interests drive her to be a copywriter, graphic designer, social media strategist, elementary school mentor, athletic recruiter and PRSSA’s VP of outreach. Want to learn more? Say hi on LinkedIn or Instagram!